woman and man hugging on street

How to Improve Your Relationship with Your Spouse

A collection of the best marriage advice I have read through the years.

It is no secret that relationships take work. Whether you are newlyweds or have been married for years, it is essential to make time and effort to keep your relationship with your spouse strong.

While every relationship will never be perfect, there is such a thing called being perfect for each other. Thankfully, there are plenty of books and articles with tips on how to improve our relationships. I hope that by following these tips, you can create a stronger and more positive relationship with your husband! This blog post will discuss some of the best advice I have found from various sources and personal experiences. These would include communicating better, kindling up romance and strengthening our bonds.

To give you a brief background, my husband and I have been married for seven years. So I still consider us to be at the starting stage. My husband had served in the military before we migrated to Canada, so we spent the first three years of our marriage making it work long-distance. Favourably, migrating abroad as a family brought us together every waking day. Some say that once you get past that seven-year mark, it gets a little boring, but I am happy to say that it is not the case for us. We continue to grow and learn together every day.

How to Improve Your Relationship with Your Spouse
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Know each other’s love languages

I had no idea there were different love languages, let alone that my husband and I might have completely different ones. After reading “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman, I realized that my husband feels loved when I do things for him and show physical affection. I feel loved when he listens to me and shows appreciation for what I do.

Here are the five love languages:

Words of affirmation

If this is your love language, you feel loved when your partner expresses their affection for you verbally. This can be in the form of compliments, saying “I love you,” or simply expressing gratitude for things you do.

Quality time

If this is your love language, you feel loved when your partner spends time with you uninterrupted and focused on you. This can be going on a date, taking a walk, or simply sitting and talking.

Receiving gifts

If this is your love language, you feel loved when your partner gives you gifts, even if they are small. This can be a gift for no reason, a gift to celebrate an event, or a gift to show they were thinking of you.

Acts of service

If this is your love language, you feel loved when your partner does things to help you out. This can be making dinner, taking the dog for a walk, or doing the grocery shopping.

Physical touch

If this is your love language, you feel loved when your partner shows physical affection. This can be hugging, holding hands, or sitting close to you.

Knowing your love language can help you understand how to show love to your partner in a way they will appreciate. It can also help you understand why you may not feel loved when your partner does certain things for you. For example, if your partner does acts of service for you, but your love language is physical touch, you may not feel as loved because you are not getting the physical affection you need.

27 Ways to become a better spouse and improve your marriage

27 Ways to become a better spouse and improve your marriage

The Basic Foundation

Pray for your spouse.

Something I have been doing more of lately has made a world of difference. I feel more positive and hopeful when I start my day by praying for my marriage. I also pray for specific things I want to work on in my relationship.

Make your spouse a priority.

It is so easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life and to let your relationship take a backseat. But it is crucial to prioritize your spouse and put time and effort into your relationship.

Respect your husband

Respect is so important in a relationship. If you want your husband to respect you, you must show him respect. 

Never neglect to fulfill your needs.

We love others best when we are also taking care of ourselves. Make sure your needs are met to be the best wife possible for your spouse. This includes physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. You can also check out this article from Focus on the Family on How Self-Care can turn a good marriage into a great one.

Learn to forgive..and forget.

If you want to improve your relationship, you must learn to forgive your partner. Everyone makes mistakes, and it’s important to remember that. If you can’t forgive your partner, it will only lead to resentment and bitterness. Try to let go of the past and move forward with your relationship.

silhouette of person's hands forming heart
Photo by Mayur Gala

Communicate effectively with your partner. 

Check the pulse of your relationship.

Do some self-reflection whenever necessary. Ask yourself how things are going with your partner. Do check in with your spouse from time to time.

Talk openly and honestly with your husband. 

Open and honest communication is so vital in a relationship. It helps to build trust and to avoid misunderstandings. 

Listen to your partner. 

Do not do all the talking; listen to your spouse. Have the goal of listening to understand, not listening, so you can come up with a better response. In the early years of our marriage, I noticed how my husband shut himself off whenever I tried to express too much of myself.

Assume nothing.

One thing that affects our disposition is that we often assume our partner knows what we want or vice versa. It is better to ask than to expect something and get disappointed when it doesn’t happen the way you wanted.

Be appreciative and grateful.

Don’t forget to show your appreciation for everything he does for you, it doesn’t matter if it’s big or small; everything counts. Express your thankfulness verbally.

Show interest in what he’s doing and ask questions about his day. 

You don’t have to like everything he wants, or he does, but it boosts your husband’s ego when you show interest in him.

man and woman sitting on dock
Photo by Krists Luhaers

Deal with any disagreements or problems as soon as possible.

Don’t keep things bottled up – share your thoughts and feelings with him. Handle disagreements in a constructive way:

  • Always offer empathy
  • Learn when to agree to disagree
  • Better to communicate with arguments starting with “I” statements
  • Take disagreements as an opportunity to do better in the future
  • If you have to yell, do it electronically. The impact is lesser, lol.
  • Learn to compromise, marriage takes two to tango.

Be patient

It is important to be patient with your husband and to understand that he is not perfect. Everyone makes mistakes, and no one is perfect, including us wives. Our husbands are totally different from us, and sometimes when we are already married, there are times when we may have to lower our expectations to keep the boat sailing.

Be supportive of each other, both in good times and bad.

Support each other through thick and thin. Your husband is more likely to be successful and happy if he feels you are behind him 100%. Show your support by encouraging his pursuits, listening to him, and being his cheerleader.

Seek out advice from professionals or other couples who have successful relationships.

Shared responsibilities

Always have an alternative plan for possible roadblocks.

It is not uncommon for married couples to have plans for finances, travel, and even the simplest things. To avoid added stress, plan ahead of time for your next action step if the first plan fails.

Divide the labour, do what you do best.

For example, you can be assigned the family’s financial planner if you are great with finances. Then if your husband is an expert on certain aspects like legal work and grocery shopping, then he gets to be in charge of that. However, I recommend always talking about these things in the event any of you isn’t able to do so.

Share household chores.

Being the wife doesn’t mean you would do everything around the house. Our spouses are with us because they are our partners; as such, we should have a division of labour around the house, too, especially with the kids, if you have one or more.

Do not procrastinate.

Avoid saying “later” when your partner asks you to do something else as much as possible. Give your full attention and tell them when you plan to do it, and be specific and get it done as you say.

Schedule your weekends. 

While it is also good to be spontaneous, planning ahead can decrease the amount of stress so that you know what to say yes or no to when anyone outside your family invites you for something.

Tighten your marriage bonds.

Be affectionate.

Physical touch is one of the love languages, so it is essential to show physical affection to your husband if that is his love language. Even if it’s not, physical touch is still necessary for a connection. It helps to create intimacy and closeness.

Keep the flame burning, and flirt with your spouse.

This means making time for each other, being intimate, and doing things you enjoy. Never stop dating. If you let the flame die out, it will be difficult to rekindle it. Keep the spark alive, and you’ll have a happy and healthy relationship.

silhouette of two people looking at sunset
Photo by Aziz Acharki

Create new experiences together.

This could be anything from taking a dance class together to going on a new adventure. It’s important to try new things while still staying frugal and having fun with your partner. This will help you bond and create lasting memories.

Discuss finances freely.

This can be a difficult topic, but it’s important to be on the same page financially. If you’re not sure where to start, there are many books and articles out there that can help. I wrote about Simple Strategies for Financial Freedom to help you with this aspect.

Learn to love your in-laws.

This is something that can be difficult for many people, but it is important to try. It strains your relationship with your husband if you constantly fight with your in-laws or feel like they are against you. Learning to love them (or at least tolerate them!) can be a big step in improving your relationship I recommended this wisdom-filled short read created by the daughter of Peace on”“How to have a healthy relationship with your in-law””.

Give each other space when needed.

Lastly, surprise your husband.

Do something your husband won’t expect – making his favourite meal, taking care of a chore he doesn’t like, or planning a weekend getaway. He’ll be impressed by your thoughtfulness and appreciate your effort.

Conclusion

There are countless other ways to improve your relationship with your husband, but the ones I listed above are a great starting point. If you can find time each day to communicate better, show more affection and work together to strengthen your bond, you will be on your way to having a happy and healthy marriage! 

What other ways can you think of to improve your relationship with your husband? Share in the comments below!

I would love to hear from you!

27 Ways to improve your relationship with your partner

12 thoughts on “How to Improve Your Relationship with Your Spouse”

  1. Thank you for this blog 😊
    It helps me to know more about what exactly to do to develop my marriage. I love the tip of showing interest in what he’s doing and ask questions about his day – this is what I do less and need to improve. Thank you for this wonderful blog! Worth to share. 😍
    More blog soon. ❤️

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